Aug. 3, 2011
With the new design of the blog, I wanted to try out using an integrated Facebook comment system. After one day, I decided that I wanted to revert back to WordPress comments. The lack of functionality, notifications, and moderation on the Facebook comments just wasn’t right for this blog. The other downside to the Facebook comment system was that none of the existing WordPress comments would show which was a loss. So, we’re back to the old comment system and I like it much better.
Jul. 28, 2011
It’s time for a new elbow brace. I’ve had my current one for 2 years so it’s due. First, a cast of my arm is made. I’ll have the new brace in a couple of weeks.
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Dec. 21, 2010
Toca was diagnosed with cancer around Thanksgiving and went into a course of surgeries and chemotherapy for treatment.
This morning Toca looked worse and felt hot. We took him to the animal hospital. We were supposed to just drop him off because it was just a check up but we asked if the doctor could look at him right away. They brought us into a room and and oncologist told us that he’d developed a worse kind of infection and had a 104 degree fever. She confirmed that it must have started on Sunday night because he’d been at the hospital Sunday during the day and the vet who re-bandaged him would have seen it if it were there already. All day Sunday he was very happy. She said that he looked very bad and that his color was not right. She said that we had the option of admitting him into the hospital for a couple of days so they could give him IV antibiotics and fluids to try to get him feeling better again but that there were no guarantees. Or we could put him down. Neither one of us could do that so we opted to admit him. I wanted to see him one more time so they brought him into the room. I hugged him and kissed him and told him how much I loved him and what a good boy he is but I don’t know if he even knew I was there. We went to the front desk to pay the deposit for the admittance and while we were waiting the nurse called us back into a room. The oncologist came in and said they started to administer the antibiotics and he got worse. She told us that she just wanted to let us know that it was possible he would die while he was there and they would try what they could. We went out to the lobby again and within a few minutes they called us back to tell us he died.
To say that we are devastated is a understatement. Toca was our pet, best friend, baby, comedian, sleep buddy, confidant, and sweetheart. He is the first dog I ever had an it was far too short a love affair.
Nov. 7, 2010
I am known as a lover of cupcakes. Cupcakes are sweet, adorable, tiny, and often colorful. I cannot resist cuteness. I own cupcake erasers, necklaces, earrings, fabric, and other knickknacks. I even desperately want this painting. I have considered getting a cupcake tattoo. I love baking cupcakes and seeing other people enjoy them. So you see, I love cupcakes. That is why this is so hard for me to admit to the world. Hell, it was hard for me to admit to myself. I’ve realized that I don’t really like eating cupcakes. I’ve noticed it for about the past year but didn’t stop trying. I’m more excited at the prospect of eating cupcakes than actually eating them. I find it easy not to go for a second or not even finish the first one. What happened to me? Is this just getting older? I still love eating other sweets like candy, pastries, and pies, but not cupcakes. I don’t know if it’s the cake or the frosting or a combination of both. They taste good, yes, but I’m just not into eating them anymore. I don’t know how I can look at myself in the mirror again. Am I allowed to wear my cupcake necklace proudly? Could I possibly tattoo a food on myself that I don’t want to eat? This admission to myself has raised so many questions within me. Who am I?
Nov. 5, 2010
I’ve never thought I was fat and I’ve never thought I was too thin. That is, of course, until people remind me it’s so.
I ran into someone I worked with 7 years ago and almost immediately she said, “You’ve lost so much weight.” She really emphasized the so. She was right. I have lost weight since then. Probably about 20-25 pounds. Then later in the conversation she said it again, “You’ve really lost so much weight.” I didn’t know how to reply.
According to the four sites I just googled, I was within my healthy weight range 7 years ago. About 4 years ago, I just started losing weight. I noticed it but it came off slowly so I just adjusted along the way. I didn’t change my behavior much. I am still a sugar hound drinking 3+ sodas a day. I still eat mostly what I want. The only differences are that I eat at home more and eat much less fast food. I’ve always had digestion problems associated with not being able to walk that keep me from eating way too much but those aren’t new.
In the past year, I’ve dropped several pounds below what the same sites above call my healthy body weight. I had to buy new clothes because nothing fit anymore. It’s nothing to complain about, well, mostly because we live in a world where it is bad form to complain about being thin. It’s comparable to complaining about being rich. But when people tell me that I’ve lost so much weight it does make me wonder. Did I look fat before? Do I look too thin now? I never thought I looked bad at either weight but comments like that can give you a complex.
